Roye

what is the funniest joke you heard?

tj9991

I don't know if this is the funniest, but it's one that sticks out in my mind:

A man walks into a bar, and sits down, and orders a few drinks. Halfway into his beer, he hears a small voice say "You look great today!"

He looks around, but there is no one sitting near him.

He continues drinking, and hears another faint voice.

"You are a wonderful person!"

He looks around again, still no one is near him.

He begins to get a little worried, but continues drinking. A third voice is heard:

"Everyone loves your sense of humor!"

He gets fed up with it and tells the bartender he keeps hearing these small voices. The bartender replies:

"Oh, those are the peanuts. They're complimentary"

joelthemole2000

My favorite, non-appropriate, non P/C, joke is

What's better than winning the gold medal at the special olympics?



Not being retarded.

Morti

I hope this one doesn't cross any lines, in terms of causing offense, but it gave me a chuckle when I first saw it:

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look
old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.